Wednesday 4 April 2012

GOP Candidates: Put the Gloves On

With Rick Santorum refusing to bail out of the race to nominate a Republican candidate to run against Barack Obama, perhaps Canada has a unique contribution to offer. Why not arrange a boxing match between Mitt and Rick?

Two Canadian members of Parliament, MP Justin Trudeau (a Liberal) and Senator Patrick Brazeau (Conservative) did exactly that on March 31, albeit for different reasons, in this case, a charitable cause. $230,000 was raised for the Ottawa Regional Cancer Association.

Besides political opposites, the two men are opposite in just about every other way. Trudeau, son of former Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau is 6'2" and a lean 175 pounds, and to the manor born. Brazeau is 5'10" and 183 pounds, a First Nations man not at all wealthy. Trudeau is very lean but has the edge in height and reach. Brazeau is stocky and obviously much more muscular, and also has a black belt in karate -- but how much value that holds is moot, given that kicks are not allowed. Their boxing styles are also quite different. Trudeau's style is stick and move, while Brazeau's is all angles and inside body shots.

The match was fought according to Olympic rules -- helmets, 10-ounce gloves, and three rounds. Bookmaker odds gave Brazeau three to one, primarily because in a fight between inexperienced boxers, strength and conditioning tend to win. Bookies aren't always right, and presumably took a bath after the fight was stopped in the third round, with Trudeau awarded a TKO.

Back to the race for the Republican candidacy. Since boxing gloves aren't actually gloves, but rather mitts. Perhaps Mr. Romney could gain some edge from that. Thus far, the race to head the GOP might be described as "gloves off", and a boxing match using Olympic rules might well clean it up. Such a bout would certainly raise a lot more money than the Canadian one. The question remains, to whom to donate the proceeds? Perhaps the winner could choose the receiving charity, or maybe just add the money to his campaign coffers.

1 comment:

  1. a wonderful idea! I don't think I could bear watching the bout though.. Mitt will attempt to mold himself into a boxer-like human, likely mimic and quote Ali, tripping as he shuffles his feet and thus knocking himself out, while Santorum will find the activity too gay, or against tradition, and refuse to make any physical contact with his opponent. As Mitt stumbles and essentially knocks himself out, he will nonetheless be given the win - he has more money to buy off the judges.